I didn't want to post anymore. I really didn't. But Shadow insists I owe you people an explanation and to a certain extent I think he's kinda right.
Of course, most of you mustn't care any more. Hell, most of you never cared in the first place. How could I be of any importance to you? I'm just another runner, right? Just another victim. Gonna die sooner or latter, probably while testing some stupid "Slendy-Killing" theory. Like a dumbfuck.
A year ago I would have argued...
Or... well, 15 days ago...
I fucking hate that "loop time" thing....
So Shadow set out to find me. And find me he did. It certainly took him a while trough. Yeah, for you guys I was only out for a couple of weeks, but I'd say I spent about 150 days trapped in loop time. However, even trough he found me, he didn't know how to get to me. I could have spent the whole eternity trapped in an alternate dimension...
If it weren't for Ire.
For all of you that don't know, Ire is part of the "proxy fuck up squad", also known as Mockery. And I don't know who made the call, but some higher up decided that sending the clumsiest of clumsy proxies to torture me and make sure I didn't escape was the best choice. I don't know how, but he could somehow enter and exit the place I was in at will. He'd come in every once in a while to taunt me, punch me a little and then he would leave.
Shadow caught Ire going in one day and managed to sneak in behind him. He and Ire had a fight. Shadow got wounded, but won. He managed inject some kind of anesthetic into Ire trough these darts and put him to sleep. I don't really know how that shit works. There's a more detailed explanation in his blog if you feel like reading it.
So, I grabbed some of my stuff, we managed to get to the door and then... something happened. I'm not sure what exactly. I just remember feeling like I was grabbed and thrown by a giant hand. I saw a light and before I knew it was in the house's rooftop.
And then he appeared.
I could barely see him. He just stood there, staring at us from the yard. Then things got blurry and my head started pounding...
I'm... Not quiet sure of what happened next... I started feeling like everything around me moved and all from the sudden I was in my room, I tried to get up, but before I could stand I was crashing into my kitchen table. Then I just fell face first against my bathroom floor. And finally, after teleporting all over the house, I was thrown into my front lawn.
I remember hearing Shadow throw up. I would've thrown up too, if I had had something in my stomach...
Shadow helped me up and we made a run for his car. The house collapsed behind us as we escaped.
Shadow has been looking after me since then. It's weird, he says that even trough I was gone for at least 18 days it doesn't look like I spent over 4 days without eating. I have no idea how that works, but hell, I'm still alive, so fuck it.
I traveling with him for a bit. I don't really have any plans right now and my car got crushed under my house when it collapsed, so he's kind of my only method of transportation. I'm kinda stuck with the guy.
After we part ways... Hell, I don't know. I don't really care either. What else am I supposed to do? There's really nothing left for me. I'm probably just gonna run for a couple of months and get killed at a motel or something... which isn't really all that bad compared to the alternative of being trapped in a loop forever.
The truth is: We're fighting a battle we can't win. Slenderman is... more powerful than we are. I mean... just... after what happened to me... how can that be possible?
It shouldn't. None of this should be. This thing goes beyond our understanding, beyond our reality. We can't beat something like that. We just can't. We can't WIN.
And I think that's kind of our mistake. We're TRYING to win. We know it's not gonna happen, we know there's no hope.. and yet we still give him the pleasure of fighting back. Why? Why do we torture ourselves by trying to run away? Yes, we might be able to last longer, but sooner or latter, we'll end up falling. So why not sooner? Why not die because you chose to, and not because you were unable to fight anymore?
I... I kind of don't know where I'm going with this. I remember back when all of this started I had the complete opposite idea. I thought he'd never get me if I fought hard enough, I thought there was still a chance...
Now I know he's just playing with us. And I think I'm done playing...
But... who knows? Maybe I'm just being pessimistic. Maybe there is hope. In fact, maybe we're close. Maybe a runner that doesn't have a blog has the solution already, and is about to finish the fight. Maybe this won't last for much longer and all we have to do is hang on...
But I doubt it.
With any luck, there will be a next time...
-North.
